


How I See You

by GwendolynGrace



Series: Since You've Been Gone [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam's Death (referenced), Closure, Declarations Of Love, Earth, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Missing Scene, Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 21:25:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15980816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GwendolynGrace/pseuds/GwendolynGrace
Summary: After achieving better closure over Adam--thanks in large part to Sam Holt--Shiro can move on to grab for something he's wanted for a long time. He's not about to miss an opportunity, ever again.





	How I See You

**Author's Note:**

> This work follows "What We Owe Each Other" but it's not necessary to have read that before reading this. 
> 
> I've seen a lot of stories where Shiro goes and declares his love to Keith in the hospital after the battle with Sendak. I LOVE that HC, but here's a slightly different timeline. Shiro's not going to take the chance that they don't make it.

_"I hope you don't mind--I hope it helps to hear--that I made sure he knew you'd forgiven him."_

Three times after they arrived on earth, Shiro visited Adam's entry on the memorial wall. The third time, Sam Holt found him there. Turns out, Sam and Colleen had gotten to know Adam, a little, in the years between Sam's return and Sendak's arrival. It gives Shiro a lot to think about, but more importantly, he leaves Sam with a better sense of peace than he's had for a while. 

The next morning, Shiro wakes feeling refreshed. He's slept through the night. That's a new, welcome, sensation. He hasn't slept through a solid eight hours in a long, long time. He's been unconscious, comatose, or disembodied, but the experience of a good sleep? Not for years.

Getting dressed one-handed is still a chore. He didn't really change clothes much in the lions, since their suits reclaimed and recycled waste and water. But on earth, he has to negotiate pants and belt buckles at least four times a day. He's getting pretty good at it, though. It's about the only thing he's good for, anymore.

He pushes morbid thoughts like that aside. They'll get him a prosthetic, once there's time. There just isn't time. Everyone else is busy getting ready for a battle that he'll watch from the sidelines, but he can still advise, he can still help. He'll find a way to help them win.

But before that, there's something even more important he has to do. He walks through the garrison, looking for Keith.

When he finds him alone in one of the pilots' lounges, he sits, heavily, on the sofa next to him. "Hey," he says quietly.

"Hey. Did you get the message? Dr. Holt asked us to come to a briefing in about an hour." Keith sets down the tablet he's reading. 

"Oh, I--yeah. I saw that. But I was looking for you."

"Okay…." Keith shifts to face him, but doesn't speak.

"So," Shiro continues, letting out a long, slow breath. He knows that with Keith, it's better to be straightforward. But laying himself open this way, when the stakes are high like this, is difficult. He searches for the best entry to his topic. "I wanted to tell you, I'm sorry... that I moved into the Green Lion on the way back."

"What? Why?" Keith asks. "I mean...why should you be sorry?"

"I had a lot of thinking to do. You know, after...waking up again. In a body, this time. That wasn't mine. Without an arm."

"Yeah. I guess." Keith bites his lip. "I figured you would. It must have been weird to travel in the Black Lion when you couldn't fly her."

"No," Shiro admits. "That wasn't the problem. I...had to lay some ghosts to rest."

"Okay…." Keith allows, but he's skeptical. He's not getting it. Shiro takes the next step forward.

"I--you know Adam and I--we broke up."

"When you went to Kerberos," Keith says with a shrug, "yeah, I knew that."

"And you know I...I had to achieve balance with the clone body. Reconcile its memories and mine."

"Yeah." Keith's eyes widen. It confirms that Keith wasn't sure what Shiro retained and lost.

"It...Haggar's clone tried to kill you." He tries to stay calm, but he knows that he winces a little, putting it into words.

"Technically, the clone tried to kill everyone," Keith points out wryly. "It's okay. It wasn't you. It was...programming or whatever."

"Yes, the clone put the virus in the castle. But it tried to _kill you_. It said some...hard things."

"It's okay, Shiro. I'm just glad you're back."

"I know. And I know it's okay with you. It wasn't okay with me. I just...thought things through better, traveling with Pidge. When you weren't...there to confuse things."

"How did...I confuse you?" Keith asks. He's tentative, as he always is when he can't quite grasp the nuances of interaction happening in his orbit.

Shiro takes another steadying breath. "Since I...woke up. You've. Ah. You've been. There for me. You're...not the scrappy kid I met back on that recruiting run. And you're not even the cadet I'd grown proud of. I thought of you like a little brother, or something. Even when we first found the lions, I still had this picture of you. But..since I've been--gone…. Watching you, anchoring onto you in the Black Lion, I saw you step up. And then during your time with the Blades--you've really become your own man, Keith." He almost chokes on the name. It's still new, saying it with the kind of tenderness he wants to convey.

"Uh. Thank you?" Keith blushes. The red in his cheek makes his scar stand out and turn even darker. "I mean…. I still don't feel like a good leader. I know Hunk's really upset about his family and I don't even know how to start to help him."

As always, Shiro puts Keith's need ahead of his own confession. "You know how. You just don't want to because it involves talking."

Keith smiles ruefully. "I guess, yeah. Well, also...we had some harsh words back when we were stranded. I guess I have to own that and show him I care. And I do--I really like Hunk. Who wouldn't like him? It's just hard to talk to people. I don't know why."

"Neither do I. You never have trouble talking to me."

"That's because--" Keith breaks off in embarrassment. "Because it's you, I guess."

"Well, I'm honored." He senses that Keith's immediate distress has been alleviated enough to get back to his original point. "Anyway, I was saying...I was going to wait to say all this until we got home, and after I'd seen Adam. Cleared the air, you know. But we got back and…."

"He'd died," Keith says simply. It's easy for him; he only knew Adam as a teacher and as Shiro's significant other. They hadn't been close.

"Yeah." Shiro's voice cracks on the acknowledgement. "And I guess I...needed to process that. But I--I found out some things yesterday, about Adam's time here after I left, that helped."

"Like, that he had a new boyfriend?" Keith shifts away a little, leaning into the arm of the sofa.

"He had a new--how did you know that?" Shiro asks, halfway through the sentence before he hears that Keith anticipated him. But immediately, on looking at Keith, he realizes the answer. "Oh. Right. You were here."

"For a while. I got kicked out of the Garrison a few months after you left, remember?" He's not looking away, but right at Shiro like he's checking to make sure Shiro has no gaps.

"I remember," Shiro says reassuringly. "That was when you were living in your dad's house."

"Yeah. But I saw Adam with his new boyfriend before I got expelled." The way Keith says it…. 

With a sudden insight, Shiro asks: "Keith, did Adam moving on...did that have anything to _do_ with you getting expelled?"

Keith looks amazingly guilty. "Not...directly? I might have--might have gotten into a disagreement with him during a training op."

"Over me?"

"Over the op," Keith insists. "But...I might have picked the fight because I was angry at him for not waiting for you, uh, yeah." Keith looks away, and for an instant, Shiro can see the 17-year-old he left behind on Earth. He grows more animated as he continues. "I mean, I don't know what his problem was. Who _wouldn't_ wait for you? Who wouldn't want any part of you that you're willing to give them? You know? It was--heartless. And he barely gave you time to get off-planet before he was in someone else's pants. It was--" His eyes slide sideways and he calms down visibly. His voice drops back to his usual gutteral tone. "I just hated that he disrespected you like that." 

"Okay…." Shiro says, echoing Keith's skepticism from earlier. "Keith, I...I think it's very chivalrous that you tried to defend my honor."

"That wasn't--I'm not chivalrous," Keith protests.

"No?" Shiro favors him with a half-smile.

"I...I was jealous, okay?" Keith crosses his arms angrily. He looks away. "I couldn't stand how much you cared about him. And he just threw that away."

"Keith, you know that wasn't quite what happened. I'm the one who threw _him_ away. You know that, right?"

"No, I don't," Keith says angrily, "because that's bullshit. He threw you away when he asked you to choose between Kerberos and him. Don't you dare take the blame."

"I'm not," Shiro confirms. "Let's just say, we made our choices. And I made my peace with that." He winces. "But I'm not sure I'm proud of you for making waves with him because of it."

"Yeah, well, that was a long time ago, I guess," Keith mutters. "And it's not like I'd change anything."

"Heh, yeah, that's the Keith I know," Shiro comments. "You know...I cared about you, too. And it was hard to leave, not knowing if you'd take care of yourself while I was gone."

"Yeah. Little brother. I get it," Keith grumbles, arms crossed. 

"We're...getting off-topic," Shiro says. "My point is, I switched over to ride with Pidge, because I had a lot of thinking to do. And just when I thought I had thought everything through, we came home, and Adam had died, so, there was that. But...I'm trying to say, I think I've laid that ghost to rest. And if there's one thing I know, it's that as hard as we try, we may not make it through this last fight. This body isn't going to die from disease, but the Galra might finish us off anyway, after everything we did to get home. And...I don't want to leave anything on the table. So. Maybe you can help me settle something I can't work out on my own."

"Which is?"

"You said you were jealous of Adam. You don't just mean because he was able to move on, right? You mean...you were _jealous_ of Adam, because he and I were together. Keith. Am I imagining that you...want to be more to me than a 'brother?'"

Keith blushes so hard that his ears turn red. "Uh…." He squirms on the sofa. "I mean, it's...pointless, isn't it. That's how you see me, so, I have to accept that's all I'll ever…"

Keith has to stop talking, because Shiro leans over and kisses him.

"Wanna tell me again how I see you?" he asks.

Keith doesn't answer in words. He kisses back. He pushes forward on the sofa, until their legs are touching. His mouth opens to press into Shiro's lips, to slide his tongue along Shiro's teeth. His hands wrap around Shiro's neck. Shiro wants to cry, but instead he laughs. "I want you, Keith. So bad I can taste it."

"Taste...me," Keith whispers. He shoves his tongue back inside Shiro's mouth, climbs on top of Shiro's legs. "You want me, you got me."

Shiro cups his hand around Keith's neck. Keith widens his knees, sinking into Shiro's lap. He grinds his hips just a bit, making Shiro grateful that the clone's body is a perfect copy--in every imaginable way.

"We don't have a lot of time," Shiro says, and he's not sure whether he's reminding Keith or himself. "Sam wants us in the briefing--"

"We've got enough time," Keith insists. "And if not, they'll wait. I've been in love with you since I started thinking about what that meant. You're saying seize our opportunity? I'm in. I'm not missing this chance."

Shiro's eyes close in relief. He opens them again: Keith is still there. He touches Keith's scar lightly. "Let's find someplace more private," he says, "so I can see you how I _want_ to see you."

"How's that?" Keith asks, and then, miraculously, he gets it. "OH!" He stands up and offers Shiro his hand. Shiro gets to his feet, awkwardly, off-balance, but he's never been happier. "Let's go."

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this fic, check out my other stories here on AO3, or follow me on Tumblr @gwenlygrace.


End file.
